It’s just sad how someone can just wake up and decide not to talk to you again. It’s almost as if the hours you spent each day were nothing to them. What ever happened to the deep thoughts you shared and the secrets you told one another? I guess you just thought I was a waste of time.
i always thought posts like this were stupid and whoever wrote them was overreacting to the situation or trying to make it sound more dramatic than it was just to sound cool on tumblr but then this actually fucking happened and i cant stop thinking about it.
It’s partly sadness for believing they wouldn’t want to leave, and being proven wrong. But I think it’s mostly a sinking disappointment when you realize there wont be more hours to spend, or secrets to share with them. There will be others, yes, but not them.
I texted her like an idiot tonight.
I should really just go to sleep and forget the whole damn thing. I can’t. I care way too much about her, and it’s really not fair to myself. I want to enjoy this year. I want to live it up. This is college. You’re supposed to have a blast. But night after night I’m thinking about what she’s doing and who she’s with and I’m driving myself fucking nuts. Yes, we were probably in love. Yes, we should have been together. Yes, I screwed it up, by doubting myself and trying to sheild her from my own insecurities. Yes, it’s my biggest regret to date. But I can’t let it define me in the here and now, and it is. I want to stop, I want to change. I don’t know what to do.
I care much too much about her. She’s dating someone else, someone not me. Who knows, maybe someday it will be me. Maybe someday we’ll be married with kids and the perfect life together. But maybe, just maybe, someday I’ll be married to someone so different from her and have a life that’s a million times better.
I can’t hold myself down. Right now, you’re suffocating me. And I’m letting you.
make a formspring so I can anonymously tell you how in love with your blog I am. sincerely,