That actually made me feel really bad about our whole friendship.

I try pretty hard to be a good guy, decent and honest. When my best friends see me for something else, much less something I’m trying with tremendous effort to avoid, it does little but make me feel like I’ve failed.

I’m not sure how to react, really. Or where to go from here. I’m going to keep trying, keep getting better, I suppose. Friendships are difficult when the perceived cornerstones are entirely different from one set of eyes to another.

Maybe it’s just like it always has been; no best friend, just those who are the best at being friends.

Strange things happen to me,

but this is ridiculous. Today, I had one of those “you don’t even think about it because it would never happen, but just in case it did it’d be cool, or even awesome” scenarios come true.

Crazy. Cool. Fun. I don’t know.